As a private sports coach, I often hear people say, "I can't do that," before they've ever stepped foot on the field or tried the activity. Whether it's mastering a new drill, running a longer distance, or perfecting technique, it's easy to convince ourselves that we're "just not good" at something before we give it a shot.
But here's the thing: How do you know you’re not good at something if you’ve never tried? And more importantly, are you approaching it with the right mindset?
Let’s break this down.
The Power of Mindset: Fixed vs. Growth
Dr. Carol Dweck, a leading psychologist in the field of motivation and mindset, identified two types of mindsets: fixed and growth. Those with a fixed mindset believe their abilities and talents are static. They often shy away from challenges because failure feels like a reflection of their inherent worth. On the other hand, those with a growth mindset view challenges as opportunities to learn and improve. They embrace the process of trying and understand that effort leads to progress.
So, ask yourself: What mindset are you bringing to your athletic pursuits? Are you shutting down the possibility of success before you've even tried? For example, I once coached a soccer player who claimed she could never kick with her non-dominant foot. She had convinced herself it was impossible. But with some drills and positive reinforcement, she started improving. All it took was her willingness to try and shift from a fixed to a growth mindset.
Effort Equals Progress
In sports, the belief that athletes should only pursue what they’re naturally good at is widespread but limiting. This myth can be discouraging to those who don't see immediate success in their chosen sport. While natural talent may give some athletes an initial advantage, it’s consistent effort, dedication, and deliberate practice that ultimately set apart the great from the good.
Take the story of Michael Jordan, who famously didn’t make his high school varsity basketball team on his first attempt. Rather than interpreting this as evidence he wasn't meant for basketball, Jordan used it as fuel for growth. He spent hours in the gym, refining his skills, and building the mindset that would eventually lead him to become one of the greatest basketball players of all time. His journey highlights the importance of resilience and the willingness to improve, demonstrating that talent is just the starting line, while effort and perseverance determine how far one can go.
Other examples support this idea. Tennis legend Serena Williams has attributed much of her success not to innate ability but to countless hours of training and mental fortitude. In distance running, Eliud Kipchoge, the first person to break the two-hour marathon barrier, points to his consistent training and mental preparation as key factors in his historic achievement. His success was not solely due to his genetic gifts but to a meticulously designed training regimen and an unwavering commitment to improvement.
When coaching athletes, I stress that trying is progress in itself. Each attempt—whether perfect or flawed—brings an athlete closer to mastering their sport. For example, in tennis, each practice serve sharpens technique, muscle memory, and mental focus. In track and field, each run, regardless of time, conditions the body for improvement. Athletes who understand this mindset tend to be more resilient in the face of challenges, recognizing that setbacks are just part of the journey to success.
Research in sports psychology supports this approach. Dweck’s work on the growth mindset highlights how athletes who believe that effort leads to improvement tend to perform better and are more resilient than those who believe their abilities are fixed. The idea that effort can unlock potential is not just motivational but scientifically backed.
Conquering the Fear of Failure
Fear of failure can be one of the biggest obstacles in an athlete's journey, often rooted in the anxiety of not meeting expectations—either their own or others'. This fear frequently leads athletes to avoid challenges that could actually propel them forward. However, when failure is seen as a critical step in growth rather than a setback, it becomes a powerful tool for improvement.
As a coach, I've observed that athletes who are overly focused on the outcome—whether they'll succeed or fail—tend to hold themselves back. This fixation on results can create a sense of paralysis, preventing them from taking risks or pushing their limits. In contrast, athletes who focus on the process of learning, improving, and experimenting often experience breakthroughs they never expected. By shifting their mindset away from winning or losing, they allow themselves the space to grow, adapt, and eventually reach higher levels of performance.
This reframe is supported by research in sports psychology. Studies have shown that athletes who adopt a process-oriented mindset tend to be more resilient and perform better over time. For example, research by Sian Beilock, a cognitive scientist, reveals that when athletes fixate on the outcome—especially under pressure—they are more likely to choke. By contrast, those who focus on the process, such as mastering specific techniques or building endurance, are more likely to perform well and adapt to changing circumstances.
Additionally, failure itself can be a valuable teacher. It highlights areas that need improvement and encourages athletes to refine their strategies. Legendary NFL coach Vince Lombardi once said, "It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up." Failure is inevitable in sports, but how athletes respond to failure—whether they let it define them or use it as motivation—often determines their long-term success.
Incorporating failure as a learning tool also encourages experimentation. Athletes who aren't afraid to fail are more likely to try new techniques, adjust their training, or take risks during competition. This openness can lead to unexpected successes, as athletes discover new strengths and approaches they might have overlooked if they had been focused solely on avoiding failure.
Trying Isn’t a One-Time Thing
Approaching a new skill with the right mindset involves recognizing that trying is not a one-time event but a continuous process. Success in mastering a skill doesn’t come from a single attempt but through sustained effort, practice, and the willingness to reflect on both successes and failures. The focus should be on progress over time rather than immediate results.
Take the example of David Beckham, one of soccer's most iconic free-kick specialists. Beckham’s ability to curve the ball into the net didn’t come naturally or overnight. It was the result of countless hours spent practicing free kicks long after his teammates had left the field. Even on days when his shots missed the mark, Beckham didn’t quit or settle for mediocrity. Instead, he saw each attempt as part of a larger process of honing his technique and refining his skill set. By embracing the grind and persisting through failure, he was able to elevate his game to an elite level.
This type of commitment is mirrored in many other fields. For instance, in the world of music, guitar legends like Jimi Hendrix and Eric Clapton didn’t simply pick up a guitar and start playing flawlessly. They spent hours practicing scales, experimenting with chords, and learning from their mistakes. Their eventual mastery came from a dedication to continuous improvement.
Research in psychology reinforces this idea. Angela Duckworth’s concept of "grit," which combines passion and perseverance, highlights the importance of maintaining effort over time, especially in the face of challenges. Duckworth’s studies suggest that individuals who display grit—those who are willing to put in the hard work day after day—are more likely to achieve success than those who rely solely on talent or seek quick results. This reinforces the idea that persistence and a process-oriented mindset are crucial for developing any skill.
In coaching, I emphasize to athletes that progress isn’t linear. There will be ups and downs, but the key is to stay committed to the journey. Whether it’s perfecting a free kick, mastering a guitar riff, or developing any other skill, the real magic happens not in the initial attempt but in the repeated, reflective efforts that follow.
Are You Truly Giving It a Go?
As a sports coach, I challenge my athletes to ask themselves the tough but crucial question: "Am I really trying?" It's easy to give a surface-level effort and then use that as a convenient excuse for why you're not good at something. This self-defeating cycle prevents athletes from reaching their full potential. True effort, however, goes beyond just showing up. It requires a deeper level of commitment—one rooted in dedication, a willingness to be vulnerable, and an openness to both failure and growth.
Real effort is marked by consistency and an eagerness to learn, even when the results don’t immediately follow. Many athletes mistakenly believe that effort is simply about physical exertion, but it also involves mental preparation and reflection. It’s about fully engaging in the process—whether that means showing up to practice every day, analyzing mistakes, or seeking feedback from coaches and peers.
An example of this mindset shift can be seen in the training of basketball star Stephen Curry. Curry wasn’t always viewed as a top prospect. Critics doubted his size and athletic ability, yet he continually asked himself if he was truly giving his all. Rather than accepting limitations, Curry embraced a rigorous training regimen, honing his shooting technique through repetition and self-reflection. Even after achieving success, he is known to continue putting in the extra hours, focusing on the details that set him apart from his competitors. His dedication and approach to practice illustrate the difference between giving a half-hearted effort and truly striving for excellence.
As a coach, my goal is to foster a growth mindset in my athletes. I encourage them to view each practice as an opportunity to get better, not just a test of their current abilities. For example, if an athlete struggles with a particular skill, such as dribbling in soccer or controlling their breath in running, I help them break down the mechanics of the skill and encourage them to try again and again, reflecting on what worked and what didn’t. This process not only builds skill but also resilience and self-confidence.
When athletes approach every new challenge with the mindset of "I’m here to learn," they create room for surprises. They often find that with sustained effort and a willingness to embrace failure, they can become proficient at things they once believed were beyond their capabilities. This openness to learning is what ultimately allows them to transcend their perceived limits and achieve more than they ever thought possible.
Conclusion
You’ll never know what you’re capable of if you don’t try. And trying isn’t just about showing up; it’s about bringing the right mindset with you. A growth mindset, consistent effort, and a willingness to fail forward are the keys to unlocking your potential, whether on the field, the court, or anywhere else in life.
So next time you think, "I’m just not good at that," stop and ask yourself: Have I really tried? Am I approaching this with the belief that I can improve? If you do, you might just surprise yourself with what you can achieve.
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